her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
