she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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