hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
