great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
