i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
