She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
