my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
