Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
