Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
