Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
