Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
