ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
