Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
