I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
