I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
