She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
