ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize