That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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