in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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