When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
