So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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