Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Randomize
