If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
