Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i wish my penis had a tongue
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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