I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
