you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
