The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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