youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
