If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
