i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
