i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
