just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
