Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
