Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
