I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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