my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
