Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
