like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
