She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
