Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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