I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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