Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
