that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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