This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
