I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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