Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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