I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
