I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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