I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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