do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
